An extension of modern music therapy
Music Video Trades
Become more aware of who you are and want to be through music, play, and kindness.
By recording ourselves expressing when we feel safe in our own environments, we can share more real/vulnerable parts of ourselves.
This age of tech allows us to share so many multifaceted versions of ourselves! We’ve had fun sharing pics, videos, and thoughts via email/text or on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok, so why not use our urge and ease of expression through tech to learn more about ourselves in the protected time and space of therapy?
A few main differences between sharing your expressions with friends or on social media, versus what we can do in therapy, is that our trades will be confidential and our interactions will go deeper than a “Like” or an “OMG I love this!” comment.
Instead, I will hold your expression with present attention, sensitivity, and care. I will somatically attune to your nervous system to notice what you and your body are revealing to us.
Here is an example video of the Dance Game “Polyamory With Me,” where we are playing with self-response videos to explore the multiple, imperfect, and sometimes contradicting parts of ourselves. By continuing to show up to and for ourselves in the moment (without editing) it allows us to hold different parts of ourselves with acceptance, laughter, and compassion. The focus is on curiosity around the passage of time, change, and self-support/self-care/self-love. The bottom left me is the second take I did in response to my first dance in the middle, and the bottom right me is the third take I did in response to both of those takes. It’s fun to see the different versions of me show up in response to the first version of me even with all the imperfections (my kitten cat Lion also makes a cameo)!
My Offering to You
My offering to you is to become more aware of who you are by how you interact with others in a safe container that is held with music, play, and kindness.
Through these authentic interactions with others, deeper levels of self-awareness can be developed more quickly and retained more easily. This creates the resiliency and capacity to surf the inevitable traumas and transitions of everyday life that occur from simply being alive.
Why Am I Doing This?
I’ve been a closet dancer for my whole life. A private thing I did in front of my mirror in my bedroom or the bathroom when nobody was watching or at home. My body couldn’t resist the music. My body needed the music.
As a teen, I remember the pressures of a competitive school, the challenges of adjusting to new family dynamics after my parents got divorced (living with grandparents and each parent separately), and moving to Taiwan from Arizona to find a new sense of belonging. At home and school it felt like there was little space for me to show up to dance and be myself without the consequences of possibly feeling embarrassed or inappropriately harassed. There are multiple reasons for this, including the broader white, heterosexual, patriarchal-centered systems and our own family systems that we were raised in. I also don’t think it’s an uncommon experience for many Asian bodied womyn, like myself who were not encouraged to take up space with our bodies, movements, or even thoughts. Oftentimes, this was ultimately because our caregivers were doing the best with what they knew, and may have been too overwhelmed by their own traumas and limitations to be present and kind when we needed them. Additionally, we may have had multiple kinds of barriers with our caregivers. These could have included immigration from a highly sensitive and collectivistic environment to a competitive individualistic American landscape, mismatched competencies of their/our languages, age/generation gaps, and different concepts of what is safe and effective around learning and loving.
As an Asian, Chinese, Taiwanese, American, womxn, who has put in a lot of work, effort, and attention into training as a therapist, singer-songwriter, web designer, positive dog trainer, and dancer, I am excited to now be able to offer safe spaces for us to continue to blossom together. It is important to note that I identify more as a human who dances rather than a professional dancer, and I embrace that as a strength that allows me to move without the same ideas of what movements are right/wrong, better/worse in an evaluative context. This is not about that. This is about being able to access that child-like part of us that is amazed at what our bodies and the world still has to offer us. It is about accessing the joy that we all deserve and that life offers us. Enjoying life. Embracing life. Not because of how good we have done something, but because we are already fucking amazing in just BEING who we are.
We can enjoy each other just as we are and organically find ourselves laughing, crying, and even celebrating our human imperfections and contradictions together, in a way that inspires hope and empathy rather than shame or self-discipline. This then opens the door to sustainable change, feelings of peace/satisfaction, and healthy growth into the versions of ourselves we hope to be no matter how young or old we are.
We play when we feel safe and we trust that we won’t be used, taken advantage of, or hurt by another. You are a part of that. We are all a part of creating the circle that will heal us, and I am here to help create and hold the container with you. I’ll add structure or improvisation using sensitivity and experience, and give us permission to take care of ourselves as we acknowledge our impact and interconnectedness with each other. I am also here to remind us of the immense value in being curious, courageous, and compassionate with ourselves and each other.
Dance Games
When sharing ourselves with another person who is present, sensitive, and rooting for us, it is often easier for us to marvel at ourselves moving/dancing/emoting, and feel more fully alive and self-compassionate with ourselves.
The usual “critical voice” that wants to crush any signs of “weakness” and relentlessly aims for only improvement and gain, starts to then take a backseat and actually gets to enjoy the time-limited party that is life! These dance games allow us to acknowledge that critical voice is there, and still make room to celebrate and play in the present moment with these bodies while we are still here.
These games have roots from multiple aspects of my journey and identity. I bring my life experiences from being East Asian, multi-cultural, bilingual, and growing up in different countries (resiliency, sensitivity, and holding from a holistic perspective); being a jazz singer and singer-songwriter (collaborative improvisation and creativity within a musical structure); being a positive dog trainer (understanding behavioral theory and highly valuing the preciousness of mammalian connection); being a web designer (creatively co-manifesting people’s dreams of new businesses/authentic identities prioritizing interaction and connection with others); and of course being a social worker and therapist (experience, knowledge, and awareness to the unconscious in relation to the multiple systems/environments we function in and how our minds, bodies and souls exist and react in those situations).
Below are just a sample of the games we can play together, with many more customized and creative possibilities depending on the abilities and preferences of each person.
What to Expect
Individual & Group Holding: The beauty of these games is that they can be played either on your own time or in live sessions together. If/when you feel comfortable meeting in a group context, we could determine together what that could look like and how often we would interact based on each person’s comfort levels. To start the fun, you can choose to:
Meet Live Online: Meet one-on-one with me online first to get to know each other better in this context and play 1-2 dance games together that sound fun to you. This is a great choice if you want more info or live support and feedback about what we can do together. Just let me know a few upcoming times that you can meet and we can go from there.
Start Video Trading: We can also jump into video trading by picking a song and a game you’d like to experiment with! You can either dance the way you want and feel in the moment and send it to me, or I can video a demo of myself doing a game first with it and we can play with that.
Additional Member Invites: If you’ve been invited to this page by a current Dance Circle member, we can explore a few dance games together with the person who invited you.
Confidentiality: Every participant will be required to agree to a confidentiality statement that protects our privacy and vulnerability. This allows us to build trust and create a safer container in order to sink deeper and get more out of each interaction we have with each other.
Organic Circle Development: To retain a sense of safety specific to each of our identities and lived experiences, we can co-develop each circle together in a more organic way by first having a conversation about what that would look like for both of us. We can prioritize the tender parts of your body/psyche so that the circle can feel more restorative rather than evaluative or draining. Ultimately, each dance circle is a place where we can collectively play and connect in a way that allows for grief and celebration to be held, and joy and pain to be processed the way our bodies and souls crave, long for, and were born to be able to do.
Facilitated by Alice Dote, LCSW
Alice (she/they) is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with training and experience conducting individual and group therapy in both California and New York. She received her Masters in Social Work from Columbia University School of Social Work in NYC, and her BA in Ethnomusicology from UCLA. They are passionate about the intersections of how music, dance, and animals/nature enhance and deepen our healing journeys and lives. Their multi-cultural identity as a 2nd Generation Chinese American womxn is foundational to the work they do.